For the last two weeks, I have attempted to count down the days of going to "90 in 90" on a calendar but only have gotten as far as: 90, 89, 88, skip, 90, 89, skip, skip, 90 and so on. Damnit! This was not working! What I know is that I have discovered that going to meetings makes me feel better and not going to meetings results in a slow spiral of unmanageability. But knowing has never been enough for me. The limitations of my own time management have also proven challenging for "90 in 90" as it has for going to the gym and any number of tasks that I try to do on the regular (I am not a woman of routine, no sir-ree). However, my life is fairly simple, I'm amazed my days seem so much shorter than other people's days. This is also an opportunity to explore that.
At this point, I'm not sure how much I can divulge about "the program" I'm involved with online and in a blog so we will keep it somewhat obscure (however, those of you who know the term "90 in 90" probably can guess) until my sponsor gets back to me.
1)I will keep this blog anonymous except as it pertains to myself. Using only first initials for names. If you read this and think I'm blogging about you and don't like it, just let me know and I'll change the letter or something. If I find myself mentioning someone often, I will change their first name or initial to protect their identity except where they give me permission to use their names. How's that?
2)I will GO to 90 meetings in 90 days (I keep saying, "I will try" which will not do, gotta love the concreteness of the written word!). This does NOT mean I have to attend 90 meetings at some point within 90 days as I was tempted to interpret it. Oh no! This is one meeting per day for 90 days. This is the real deal, babe!
3)I will do my best not to bore you with my story. I am designing this as a tool to help others share about their process as much as it is for me to inspire myself to stick with something as has proved so difficult to do with EVERYTHING in my life.
Side note: I pretty much have mocked the world of blogging and all that is technological-able for as long as I know. I missed the dot-com train, was a bit too young and idealistic and wanted to save the world and it's people. And doing so, in my mind, did not involve computers. Coincidentally, I'm dating a former computer guy at this moment.... So I'm nervous about this and while I consider myself a fairly good writer, it's a little different to put myself on the Inter-web for all to see. I'm an extro-vert but still, this is a bit nervous-making either that or I had too much coffee. I don't do well with caffeine.
4)I will do my best to keep to the topic of sobriety and going to 90 meetings in 90 days.
5)I will not use too many emoticons as I love them and they are still a treat for my untechnol0gically inclined self, but I realize they are annoying. I do feel like they add tone so again, we'll see how this goes.
6)I will start tomorrow, Monday August 17th and take one meeting, one day at a time (is there a copyright on that phrase?, shit I hope not). This project will conclude on Saturday, Nov 14th. Woah.
7)I haven't decided about cursing in my blog but I think I might.
8)Wish me luck! Please. And feel free to comment, I look forward to the interchanges. All I ask is that those who do do their best to keep to and respect the 12 and 12. I'm still learning what that means so please be as understanding, forgiving, kind, direct and honest. I'm feeling right now like I have no skin. Thank you for reading.