Day 9, Meeting 9: Thank you

I did not think that this blog would be a source of strength for me. I did not design it to get props from my peeps. I designed it to have more of a passive influence if not just give a reader cause to stop and think and maybe get some answers about my process of getting sober if you know me. That's it. The fact is that this silly blog thing and your comments totally got my ass to a meeting today and for that I am so grateful.

JW's comment was a rallying cry and helped me a great deal. While I know who some of you are, I didn't know who this comment was from but I think they might be family;) But I don't know. And I want to thank them and everyone for reading because it totally gives me strength to stick with this.

I was justifying not going to a meeting most of the day. I was passed out in bed all day unable to breathe out of my nose and just trying to sleep this gnarly cold out of me. Being content with the letdown and having to start this process over. I have no problem taking sick days, I still work a little from home but for the most part, I let myself be sick so I can get well. However, I didn't have a fever, achies or chills so right then, I knew I might be able to make a meeting. I read JW's comment and a certain SK's and was like, "I can do this. It might take me a little while but I can get to a meeting." I found a meeting in my book, took another long nap, woke up, took a super hot shower, made some soup and toast, tossed a bunch of vitamins back, bundled up and headed to my meeting. I actually drove to the wrong meeting and realized that the meeting I was headed to wasn't until later and that I could make an earlier meeting nearby that I knew of. This is an intimate meeting and I had been there before. The last week of the month, they read a tradition which typically is a bit dry but it deepens my fascination with this program and how it works for so many across the globe. It was great to hear some of the regulars share about the concept of "professionalism" and 12 Step work. And it eased some of my anxiety while shedding light on this project of writing a blog. I even shared with the group that I had started a blog to share my experience in meetings and my sobriety process with people. This relieved a great weight off my shoulders. I said if anyone had a hard time with it, I'd love to hear feedback after the meeting. No one came up to me, but one guy gave me a cough drop and another guy was amazed at how awful and sick I sounded. I laughed and had to agree but assured him I didn't feel half as sick as I sounded and that I had been in bed all day. I thanked everyone for letting me be there in my disgusting state during my share. I also sat in the back so as not to contaminate anyone and blow my nose in peace. Except I sound like a foghorn;)

And I am much better for it. Yay, me!